Newly engaged? CONGRATULATIONS!
What’s about to happen as you embark upon the preparations for what should feel like the most AMAZING day of your lives is going to fill you with a sense of excitement and anticipation. Before you know it, you’ll be inspired by the most interesting creative ideas and your nearest and dearest will find it difficult to talk about anything that isn’t directly wedding related. All of a sudden, your dream wedding day is the topic-du-jour and everyone close to you wants a piece of the action. The excitement is infectious!
Then it hits you.
What began as a result of a romantic proposal amidst a very private moment involving just the two of you is now a family affair. Your Fiance’s sister expects to be your Bridesmaid, your Mum has her sights set on an elaborate marquee in the grounds of a nearby stately home, your Father in Law wants fireworks and everyone’s having their say.
Frustrating? You bet!
It’s extremely important to remember that the wedding day in question is YOURS and you deserve for every aspect of it to be exactly as YOU would want it.
You might need to take a deep breath and politely explain how important this is to you but such potentially awkward conversations can be avoided, providing you prioritise and are clear from the outset about the way you envisage your day and what you are absolutely not prepared to compromise on.
First things first…
Prioritise early. Set aside some time to sit down together – just you and your other half – specifically to discuss your dream wedding day. Make a point of listening to each other and draw up a list of all your likes and dislikes; the things you especially want and any definite no-nos. Communication is king in any great relationship, so make sure you take the time to talk things through. You may find that you need to compromise on a couple of things but at least you’ll be confident in the knowledge that you’ve made the big decisions TOGETHER. You’ll both be glad you did and will feel far more comfortable for it, come the big day.
When you have identified your priorities, write them down.
This list will become the basis upon which so many other decisions are made, such as;
Who do you absolutely, definitely want to invite to your wedding? Who would you like to appoint as your attendants? Who can you trust to delegate some of the important tasks to?
What are you not prepared to compromise on? Is his heart set on a helicopter flight? Do you have to have that wedding cake?
Where do you want to get married? Do you want a church wedding or a civil ceremony? Are you thinking of an urban backdrop or a rural retreat?
When do you want to get married? Do you have a special date in mind? What time would you like the ceremony to take place?
How much will it cost and how will you pay for it all? As well as staying true to yourselves and avoiding the temptation to get carried away, it is advisable to prioritise early in order to ensure you don’t end up spending far more money than you intended. Being knee deep in debt is no fun and is certainly no way to start married life. By identifying your priorities and how much you are prepared to spend on the things which are most important to you, it is more likely that you will feel happier reducing or eradicating completely the amount of money you might otherwise spend on things that don’t matter so much. By allocating your budget correctly from the outset and recording and updating your expenditure regularly, you are more likely to stay on track throughout the planning process. Prioritising early means you are far less likely to feel stressed.
How are you going to plan and co-ordinate it? Can you do it without professional help?
Planning a wedding should be fun, but planning your own wedding can be overwhelming. There are so many important decisions to make. You might be worried about finding the perfect venue, Photographer, Florist, Caterer or entertainment. These can all prove to be extremely costly mistakes if you get any of them wrong. Perhaps you need some advice about etiquette or a styling dilemma is keeping you awake at night? You might be worried about the timings of the day or the extent to which your guests are going to enjoy themselves?
Fear not. Help is at hand…
The FAIL-SAFE guide to planning your perfect day – with Helen Davies
In a series of forthcoming articles dedicated to helping you overcome your wedding planning worries and look forward to a completely stress free day, I will be tackling each of these points – from practical tips to help you to prioritise and accurately calculate your overall likely expenditure, to pin pointing ways in which to personalise your perfect day and create an unforgettable experience for all concerned.
With over a decade of experience in planning weddings and events, I’m incredibly proud to be regarded as one of the most sought after Wedding Planners in the UK. Learn more about me, my philosophy and experience here.